Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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