I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Someone shattered a urinal.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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