i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
