so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
