There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
