I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
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