What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
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Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"