like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night