Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?