So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize