Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle

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  (248): i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle http://tfl.nu/q09n
  Replies (3) Good night (855) Bad night (1116)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.

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  (516): i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles. http://tfl.nu/x8s9
  Replies (15) Good night (7017) Bad night (724)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.

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  (256): Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs. http://tfl.nu/y8sy
  Replies (23) Good night (2381) Bad night (4661)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him

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  (508): He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him http://tfl.nu/0v7f
  Replies (4) Good night (5764) Bad night (1035)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.

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  (609): I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke. http://tfl.nu/ibe5
  Replies (11) Good night (1003) Bad night (4001)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you

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  (518): I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you http://tfl.nu/jrvn
  Replies (20) Good night (5677) Bad night (2014)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?

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  (250): is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling? http://tfl.nu/vsf9
  Replies (2) Good night (1486) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.

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  (940): Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book. http://tfl.nu/boxy
  Replies (15) Good night (3190) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.

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  (606): I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail. http://tfl.nu/b2ml
  Replies (11) Good night (539) Bad night (4133)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?

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  (631): Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"? http://tfl.nu/xfwq
  Replies (6) Good night (1313) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I need rollerblades now

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Rollerblades pick up bitches

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  (774): I need rollerblades now (774): Rollerblades pick up bitches http://tfl.nu/hoew
  Replies (7) Good night (983) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for

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  (256): He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for http://tfl.nu/28ug
  Replies (3) Good night (311) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.

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  (214): If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete. http://tfl.nu/s2yi
  Replies (4) Good night (562) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely

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  (315): i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely http://tfl.nu/vc4m
  Replies (3) Good night (678) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"

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  (319): One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat" http://tfl.nu/szqu
  Replies (2) Good night (435) Bad night (208)

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