Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.

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  (732): four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day. http://tfl.nu/q3s7
  Replies (20) Good night (4142) Bad night (1716)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones

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  (904): My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones http://tfl.nu/lwep
  Replies (8) Good night (2913) Bad night (1494)
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  (949): View more from California

  you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one

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  (949): you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one http://tfl.nu/7gmu
  Replies (10) Good night (6224) Bad night (1548)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.

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  (314): Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them. http://tfl.nu/ibul
  Replies (5) Good night (3472) Bad night (623)
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  (315): View more from New York

  A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos

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  (315): A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos http://tfl.nu/8sxj
  Replies (7) Good night (2009) Bad night (628)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.

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  (316): Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom. http://tfl.nu/sl0t
  Replies (6) Good night (1586) Bad night (701)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.

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  (808): My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever. http://tfl.nu/qc0x
  Replies (6) Good night (1001) Bad night (425)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.

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  (+44): How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic. http://tfl.nu/9kr6
  Replies (12) Good night (1082) Bad night (966)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  im in the post action - pre consequence stage.

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  (215): im in the post action - pre consequence stage. http://tfl.nu/y2lc
  Replies (3) Good night (913) Bad night (388)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!

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  (440): I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?! http://tfl.nu/61is
  Replies (4) Good night (609) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.

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  (727): She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit. http://tfl.nu/846j
  Replies (9) Good night (317) Bad night (1025)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like

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  (717): Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like http://tfl.nu/ufx0
  Replies (1) Good night (309) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.

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  (561): His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger. http://tfl.nu/j2rh
  Replies (3) Good night (358) Bad night (1045)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I need a genital shamwow being this wet.

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  (301): I need a genital shamwow being this wet. http://tfl.nu/u5kj
  Replies (2) Good night (785) Bad night (252)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.

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  (479): I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself. http://tfl.nu/jsbo
  Replies (1) Good night (450) Bad night (237)

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