I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
