dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
