you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
