It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
