Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She bit a glass in half.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
