i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
