so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
even my farts smell like vagina
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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