Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You left your phone here
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