I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize