Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I cut my penus on the lid.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
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