ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
