you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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