Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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