Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Randomize
