I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
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