don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Fuck appropriateness.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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