You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
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Pass out mid-funnel last night.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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