I just saw a hot homeless man
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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