Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
