At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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