the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
