you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
