Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
