I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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