Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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