You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
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they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
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I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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