watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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