is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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