Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
