I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize