im drinking this country out of the recession.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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