I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
