I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
