So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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