your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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