so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
