What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
you never un-have a 4some
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
