Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Did I show you my penis last night?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
