I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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