the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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