i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
