Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
