I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
