The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I think I sprained my soul last night
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
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