I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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