And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
