Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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