I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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