yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
