I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
