i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
