i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
